I’m not really sure how to start what I want to say. The past several weeks have just been…intense. Lots of news on the adoption front but none that really seems concrete and some that is concrete that isn’t very good for our timeline. I’m choosing not to put it on the blog because so much of it is just hear say and I’d rather just stick to the facts and wait for an official statement from our agency. It’s depressing really and I will just say I try to keep most of that negativity off of here but at the same time I want to be true to the process and the process IS tough. So, just to have it out there…lots of tears around these parts folks.
I am SO happy to say that I’m doing much better this week and it was actually due to the last 5 seconds of the Bachelor Pad finale. Ha! ( Yes, I did just say that and yes my sister-in-law up north did just roll her eyes when she read it) I have this thing during my pregnancies (and well really any big date that’s approaching)…. I’ll explain. So, there is this moment when you look at your gallon of milk and you realize that your due date is AFTER the date the milk expires and you get all giddy like, “YAY, it’s finally getting close!” Anybody feel me on this??? It’s just a sigh of relief that the finish line can be seen! Praise the Lord!
So, anyway last night I was up late (yes, 10 is late for me..I need my sleep!) and good ‘ole Chris Harrison had finished introducing the new Bachelor (YAY, I ❤ Ben ) and he said something along the lines of “The new season of The Bachelor premieres in JANUARY” in a completely nonchalant voice like January is right around the corner or something. I will call this my “Milk expiration moment”. After all my pity party throwing last week I felt a spark of joy. January isn’t THAT far… It’s almost Halloween, and then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas…and then it’s January! If it’s not God’s plan for Maddox to be home this year and we don’t receive our miracle emigration permit it’s very likely we will be submitted for it in early January. Please hear me when I say this: I have two precious children that I adore and a pretty awesome husband to boot right under my roof and I want to be intentional about my time with them ALWAYS! I don’t want it to seem like I’m just wishing time away because that’s not the case BUT, it was a bit of a reality check for me. And after months and months of the finish line being moved further away for just a moment I think I saw it off in the distance. We’ve got a lot to do!
So, today I finally kicked myself in gear and started working on the nursery again. The walls had been painted WAY back in late Spring and when all the drama with the EP’s started happening my heart just wasn’t in it. I didn’t want to have his room all complete just to have it sit empty. Now that the holidays are quickly approaching I feel this sense of urgency to get it done. Can I just say how much fun I had!? I’m so excited to see it all come together. I had purchased a changing pad cover months ago and so I opened it up, washed it, and put it on the changing table. Then I pulled open the top drawer and inside was a stack of diapers. The biggest smile came across my face! You know the ones you can’t even make yourself straighten. Sigh. This is really happening. Not today, or tomorrow but Maddox will be home before I know it. Ugh. I’ve got SO much to do! : ) At the end of this crazy, up and down roller coaster I get a son. God is so good…SO good.
I’m slightly obsessed with this verse right now:
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.~ Romans 12:12
It’s my new mantra. And on top of that the Lord had me in Micah yesterday morning. I hang my head in shame that I’ve never read that book or if I have I didn’t recall much. So, I really took my time and soaked up all 7 chapters. He was a cool guy that Micah. I was seriously loving this verse:
“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my savior, my God will hear me.” ~ Micah 7:7
On a completely different note, I’m so in love with fall! The four of us headed out to the walking path by the park tonight and it was so fun to finally enjoy being outside again! The kids got to ride their bikes and then we all headed over to the park and played until almost dark. Fall is my favorite!